I thought Providence had the absolute best takeout for that exact reason—they gave you heads up a week in advance what the dishes would be and EXACTLY what you needed to do at home. It was practically foolproof.
I ordered the Vespertine x Alinea takeout and found it a little too precious. Later looked at the “be the chef” version instructions and lost my mind. It was like 45 pages of insanity that no home cook would be able to pull off, successfully, in a reasonable amount of time—EVEN if they’d given instructions in advance. I work at a 1-star and even I wouldn’t do all that shit just trying to have a nice meal with my family.
Regarding the unifying factor behind the dishes, on my visit, it seemed to be… primal cooking techniques? Most everything was cooked over coals or embers, grilled, that kind of shit. I don’t know if that’s actually the thrust of the restaurant but given the decor and plate descriptions? There is no unifying flavor profile (which I’m not necessarily opposed to). Combinations ranged from Southeast Asia to the Middle East, even more trad French at times.
I was serious with my reply. This is literally out of the Meteora job description:
Job Details
Seeking creative chefs for the future of gastronomy, helping to develop and establish new paradigm, acting as a model for the future.
From the creative mind of an award-winning, 2-Michelin star chef, comes a new, immersive restaurant experience. A holistic brand and concept with initiatives based in gastronomy, hospitality, art, design, and sound.
INNOVATIVE CUISINE
A highly conceptual and creative cuisine, combining ancient primordial cooking methods and modern techniques. Meticulously-sourced ingredients cooked over live fire, distilled to their core mineralogical elements of leaf, root, stem, seed, shell, flesh, and bone.
We’ve emulsified locally sourced scallops, encased in a flash-frozen seawater roe blend, on a bed of foraged huckleberry foam, all bathed in the smoke from Douglas fir cones.
It was indeed more work than I’ve ever done for “take out” at home, and the entire meal did take a long time, like 3 hours. But my wife and I had a blast and I’d do it again. The skill required was relatively low, so I disagree that no home chef could pull it off:
The Alinea meal (which I didn’t get) feels more like the exception than the rule, and presumably an intentional part of the experience from what I read of their description. Otherwise, mostly there’s a lot of dishes so that takes some time, but the individual instructions are pretty straightforward if you have cooking experience. I appreciated the thought that went into the construction of the experience. Most things come in the a nice oven safe container for reheating if they need it. The Peru menu had par cooked rice so that it was the correct texture when heated through. The new years dover sole was raw and directions were spot on for cooking it.
I didn’t do the Alinea meal but did many of the others and tend to agree that the prep wasn’t that difficult but it was precise. Providence’s menu prep was also very good, very clear - perhaps easier than Vespa - and had a nifty video that was usually cute and informative.
Honestly no offense, but I genuinely thought that was a joke. I passed a screenshot around of that to friends, some of whom have dined here, and we all had a good laugh. What is it supposed to mean??
“We’ve distilled our beef rib into its mineralogical elements of flesh and bone.”
“We’ve distilled the mineralogical element of avocado leaf into a tostada shell and then added an ungodly mix of herbs and spices (which are, in essence, distilled elements of roots, stems, and seeds).”
Ignoring whatever arbitrary definition of “mineralogical elements” for food exists, there is nothing “distilled” about most of the dishes here. That word implies something that is pure and refined, not a dish where you’ve grabbed every single thing in your garden and thrown it on a plate.
That’s encouraging to hear the “be the cook” version of the Alinea one was achievable. I’m probably biased because 3hrs of active prep at home–candying bacon and hanging it from a wire and all that–is a little more than I’d like to do on my day off, but I can see how it’d be fun.
Oh, my. I just can’t wrap my head around it, it all sounds so freaking pretentious. But friends invited us to go next week, and we want to see our friends, so…I hope we get a good meal. And if not, I hope we at least get a good laugh out of it all. I’ve never been to any of Kahn’s restaurants, so I’ll admit to being curious as hell.
This quote from the article really hits it on the head:
Meteora is an extension of Kahn’s years-long argument that dinner out should be discussed in the same terms as a night at the theater, or an exhibition of modern art. He and his team go to incredible lengths to create an all-encompassing experience, as memorable and transportive as a walk through a gallery, as transitory as dance, art meant to be observed, considered, and then digested. Some will find the food miraculous, simultaneously foreign and familiar in an eye-opening way, and perhaps some will find it a little too far out.
If you enjoy those kinds of experiences, going to Meteora at least once will be worth your time. If you simply want a nice meal out and delicious food, I would not recommend it right now. It will not consistently deliver that. There are other places that cost less and can deliver a reliably good dining experience. However it is a unique perspective on dining and food that I found intellectually and experientially stimulating.
ad infinitum. His food has always been interesting sometimes very good but rarely great. To me it’s always been the first draft of something great but that somehow never gets refined.
