That’s not what I said. Bringing it back to the review, I read it as a grouchy old guy that couldn’t find a parking space, so was in a bad mood until the food set before him.
You read it as a satire of hipsterism. But we both read the tone of the review (before he gets his food) as that of a man that is unimpressed and annoyed by the location, ambiance and intent of the restaurant.